Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Everything we can pack is packed.  We’re keeping both cars in the garage until after midnight (zero-dark early hours Clark calls it – must be a military thing).

We’re signing off here.  This going to be the last post here for a long time, probably ever.  I don’t see us getting a landline phone to the cabin anytime soon, let alone a cable-modem.  I’m not sure that many folks will miss us.  There are bigger things to worry about than just another refugee family.

Refugee — there’s a word that just has a dark hole at it’s center.  We’re leaving home, leaving a place we’ve come to love, a house that we worked hard to buy and where our daughter took her first steps.  And we’re not handing it over to some other family to build their dreams in.  We’re locking it up, leaving most of our stuff, and running.  

The locks won’t last long.  Somebody will break in and clean out anything they think is valuable.  Our furniture, our library, hell the flooring, will probably get turned into kindling this winter.  God I wish we could bring more books…books are civilization (along with hot water).

Nope, eventually the skeleton of this place will become a home for someone new…someone more desperate than us.  I still have the paperwork to claim this place, but it won’t be ours anymore.

And for all that, I sill feel guilty for all we do have.  When I was out haggling for gas this afternoon I saw one of the other Davis-area Dads.  I can’t remember his name, I suck at names, but he’s Connor’s Dad.  Beats me what he was looking for or buying or scrounging.  I was tempted for a second to invite him and his boy along with us to the woods.  April could have a playmate that way.

But we already have five people going to a cabin built for maybe three.  We don’t know if we have enough food for ourselves for winter.  We can’t play at charity.  You don’t reach out for a drowning man unless you are damn sure of your footing on solid ground.  Otherwise you both drown.

I tried getting touch with the rest of my family down in CT.  ‘All lines are currently busy.’  A medic-type down at the Convention Center said she’s with the Red Cross and will get word about Gil down to Liz.  I can’t imagine her going far from her little beach-community, her people, and her grandchildren.  They’ll find her, and she’ll get by.

The saying is that there is a Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times.”  I don’t want interesting anymore.  Let me just look out for my own.  Chop wood, carry water.  Let my fences make good neighbors and may my fences be far off.

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4 responses to “Wednesday, September 30, 2009

  1. Sad to hear. Amazing what can happen in a year, how things can go from bad to so very worse. In another place, in another time, perhaps it doesn’t go like this. Then again, maybe, like Sarah Connor of the Chronicles, you can’t change the future. We do only that which we have already done, no matter our intentions. I wish you godspeed as you move to the woods. May the winter be mild, and may you find safety and happiness at the cabin. The human spirit can endure much, and your family has the spirit to not just survive, but thrive.

    I wish it didn’t all have to end like this, but, given the circumstances, it’s understandable. Where I sit, things aren’t so bad, but your tales have reminded me of how fragile our lives and our communities truely are.

    Best of luck.

    I’ll keep the feed on, in the hopes that you reappear at some point. Do know you will be missed.

    Peace.

  2. I’ve never commented. But I’ve been silently commiserating. Best of luck. I hope to get out myself.

  3. I guess that is probably a bit too late to tell you that help won’t be coming from our quarter. The border between Canada and the US from Lake Ontario to the Atlantic Ocean is closed, as of midnight last night. This applies to everything: trucks, trains, airplanes, cars, you name it, it cannot cross.

    The Army got called out to make it stick, and troops from as far away as Alberta have been deployed out there. The Air Force got put on alert last night, and apparently they are trying to get permission to drop leaflets over the US north-east that will explain the situation to everyone there, and hopefully keep them in the States.

    Do I agree with this move by our government? Maybe, as much as I am saddened by what has happened to what was once the greatest force for good that the world has ever seen, I also know that we cannot fight the US and win. We are outweighed ten to one. We cannot accept many of those who seek refuge in our nation, as there are too many, and we cannot support them. Like it or not, this was our only choice.

    Good luck, keep safe, and if you can, find some other way out. May the good Lord watch over you and yours, Mr. Mcneil.

  4. I hope you guys are OK. Please update when you can.

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